Advice from Your Future Self

I think the best advice comes from people with experience in the things we are struggling with in our life, people who have been there and lived it. But sometimes we aren’t aware of what we are creating in our lives while we are in the thick of it, we don’t have the big picture view that can shine a light on where we might be on the wrong path. It’s very much like the expression we can’t see the forest through the trees. We have our heads down and we’re plugging away at life and sometimes we lose sight of the point of it.

So when good advice comes along, unfortunately we rarely hear it, because we aren’t there yet, we don’t know what they know, and we don’t think it applies to us. Do you ever want to tell a younger person don’t do this or make sure you do that, and they simply don’t care? They are young and because that advice relates to what they don't see as a current problem they easily pass it off as I'll deal with that later.

We all know later never really comes and the advice never gets implemented and the younger person learns the lesson the hard way.

Maybe you can relate to this. Someone told you to stand up straight or wear sunscreen on your face when you were young and of course you didn’t (if you were stubborn like me), and now of course you have poor posture and age spots to deal with.

Have you ever wished you could tell your younger self something? 

Think about these 3 pieces of advice as coming from your eighty year old self.

This is what your future self wants you to know so you can avoid the regret and misery she or he is experiencing in their golden years, not to mention life right now would also be so much better.

So what are these 3 pieces of advice your future self wants you to not only hear, but to really take to heart and put into action?

1. Make spending time with loved ones and friends a priority.

How many times have you thought, I don’t have time to relax and spend time with a loved one? 

I drive my eighty year old mother to appointments and sometimes when I’m in a hurry I can be rude and unpleasant. She’s sweet and fun and doesn’t deserve it, so of course, I feel awful. I wanted to change my mindset about spending time with her so I focussed on just being with her.

Not only do I create space around driving her for errands so I don’t feel rushed but I have now made a point to have a weekly date with her where we might have brunch or go to the farmer’s market to simply spend quality time that we both enjoy. 

I also notice I tend to not go to parties and socialize very much lately because I always seem to have work to do. It feels unproductive to socialize, like I’m being irresponsible. 

But in order to make spending time with friends and loved ones a priority I have decided to make time to socialize. I sometimes invite a friend to get a manicure with me or go to the gym so I get things accomplished and still get to enjoy their company.

2. Stop giving your job or career such an important place in your life and priorities.

Assuming that our jobs should be the number one priority in our lives is really sad. We are simply giving more value to work and money than to our lives.

We have to remember that on our deathbeds we will never say, I wish I had worked more. I’m not saying we should play small in our work or not create a work life that is important to us, just remember that work isn’t everything and it’s certainly not more important than your loved ones. 

Someone once told me about a time when they risked their health because they thought their job was so important they didn’t seek medical treatment. They felt they couldn’t take the time for self care. They were too busy and the work was too important. This person wasn’t curing cancer, they were just making bank for some large corporation.

Another time someone told me a story about how they didn’t spend time with their elderly parents as they were living out their last days, also because the job they were doing seemed so important. Of course now that the parents are gone, the job seems inconsequential in comparison with the lost time. If only they knew what they know now; life is always more precious than money or status.

3. Find the courage now to live the life of your dreams instead of doing what is expected of you by others.

The most important piece of advice from your future self, is to be authentic. Be true to yourself. Don’t be afraid to say no to others and yes to yourself. A life well-lived is a life of autonomy. Making choices based on what you truly want and not on what society or other people expect from you.

This is a very common and the most detrimental thing we do in our lives. Don’t wait until you are having health problems or on your way out of this earthly realm to realize that you and only you get to decide what you want, how you will live, and what that means to you.

Well there you have it, the 3 things your eighty year old self wants you to know and actually take to heart.

Don’t wait until it’s too late.

Call your mom if you still can, throw wild dinner parties for all your friends, and take all your vacation time. Explore what it is you truly want and do it now. 

You will have to actively work at shifting your mindset around but seriously it’s worth it, just ask your future self.