Freedom and Independence

Who do you think you are?

This phrase resonates with me because I’ve had it said to me. Who do I think I am? To want more, to think I can do better.

Riches, wealth, success, time, morals, values, actions, everything single thing is subjective, meaning they all mean something different to every single person based on their own personal feelings, tastes, or opinions.

For example, you may think $50,000 per year is really rich or really poor depending on what you are used to, how you were raised or what feels normal or attainable to you. You may think a designer purse is an everyday necessity while someone else may see it as frivolous and wasteful.

Everything is subjective. If there is a topic, there is a spectrum of opinions about it. We all know this, though we sometimes forget when we are trying to fit in. Maybe we tend to go with the crowd or the popular opinion, so we don’t rock the boat. It’s fine, it’s totally human nature to want to fit in with the tribe.

The problem in modern life, is that we no longer have to fit in with the tribe and many of us are living lives of quiet desperation. We haven’t made authentic choices for ourselves in so long that we don’t recognize the life we are leading.

When we do go our own way it can sometimes hurt. Maybe our friends ridicule us for choosing to abstain from drinking at a party. Maybe our family wonders, who do we think we are, to desire something so lofty? Maybe we realize we have no one on our team, if we are being authentic.

The thing is, there are 7.8 billion people in this world and our tribe is out there. People who have similar values and morals, people who are kind and supportive, even when they have a differing opinion.

We want everyone to like us but it’s not news that everyone won’t. So why do we give away our uniqueness and autonomy? We can’t make others like us, it’s totally up to them and them alone. Even if we bend and morph ourselves into something we are not, still they might not like us. Who cares? We can’t do anything about it so we might as well do what we want and please ourselves with authentic dreams, opinions, desires, and actions.

We can be us, and they can be them. That’s it.

When we shed this habit of people pleasing and trying to fit in, we free ourselves to be and do anything we desire. We no longer care what people think about it. We no longer worry what someone might say. We do what we want.

The most beautiful thing about us being true to who we are is that we begin to shine from within. Being authentic will light us up, we will radiate confidence, we will be happier more comfortable in our skin, more alive. Discontent disappears, grayness disappears, life becomes full and rich when we live in alignment with our essential selves.

We will begin to attract a whole new type of person in our lives. People who are confident themselves, people who don’t need to keep you small, so they can feel good. You will begin to see your relationships in a whole new light. You will see who really is open, loving, and supportive. You will see who is toxic, small, and mean. You will realize you have relationships that no longer fit the real you. It’s okay to let these relationships fade and to replace them with new more authentic ones.

You may also see that relationships that were unbearable or unhappy before begin to strengthen and grow because you do this work. Maybe with your new-found self-control you become easier to be around, more pleasant, happier, more open.

All this work becoming your authentic self, starts with, mindfulness.

You have to hear your thoughts about everything you choose, to understand why you are choosing it. If you hear a voice in your head saying, who do you think you are, you must recognize that it’s a thought you are having about someone else’s opinion. If you are picking your car based on what the neighbors or you dad might think, make sure you recognize that. Maybe you do want someone’s opinion when you want help making a decision just don’t ignore your own opinion in favor others approval.

So if you want to stop drinking, buy a designer bag, live in an RV, or whatever it may be, do it. The only person who you need to worry about saying, who do you think you are, is you. Stop giving your freedom and independence away, and don’t think you have to leave it all behind to begin anew, freedom and independence are available to you right now, today.