Make Your Home Your Haven

Your home should be a place where you love to spend your time. A place you can recharge your batteries, rest and rejuvenate. According to the online Oxford dictionary a haven is, a place of safety or refuge.

Many of us could do a little tweaking to get our places from “chaos” to “haven”. What is a haven and how to I make my home feel like one?

A haven is clean. 

Have you ever answered the door and felt instant panic, I mean, true panic? Only because the person standing outside your door is about to witness your unclean toilet and sink full of dirty dishes. I have and it sucks.

I could be telling you right now that it’s unimportant what other people think, that people don’t really care or notice your dirty house. I could tell you that perfection is unhealthy and it would be true. But I want to take a different path here because the person your house should be clean for is you.

I know we all have experienced that awesome feeling, when we finally sit down on the sofa with a sigh, looking around our freshly cleaned house. It feels amazing! You know it does! So keep your house clean, do it for you.

A haven is uncluttered.

I don’t know anyone who feels relaxed in a cluttered home. Stacks of paper, overflowing boxes, five hundred plastic containers saved from everything ever purchased, this may sound familiar to you. If it does, you probably feel like life is out of control. That’s how I feel when clutter gets away from me.

If you continuously shuffle things from one place to the next, never really putting these things away, likely, they don’t have a home. Don’t let yourself shuffle these things for years until your kids, grandkids, or long lost niece has to finally pitch it in the dumpster for you upon your death. 

If you have a clutter problem, you’ll want to start small and choose one small area at a time to overhaul. My number one piece of advice when it comes to clutter is this:

Have a place for everything in your home. If it doesn’t have a home, give it one or get rid of it because it’s clutter. 

A haven is not full of unfinished projects.

Have you ever sat on the couch procrastinating on that box of photos you want to scan, the scrapbook you never finished, or the closet organization project still piled on the floor. You sit there and instead of relaxing, enjoying the downtime you beat yourself up about all the stuff you have hanging over your head. You’re miserable, you’re not enjoying the time on the couch, but you still sit there in it.

I was so guilty of this!!! I wasted so much of my precious time sitting in misery for nothing!! If you have a project started that you must finish, then do it already. Schedule it into the calendar, buy a bottle of wine if you have to, and just get it done. 

If you have projects that you know you are never going to complete or you have simply lost interest, put them in the trash. Seriously, right now, go get that yarn and seven rows of blanket and throw it away. Now doesn’t that feel amazing? (If you know someone or somewhere that would take your unfinished project, feel free to donate or give. But do not hang on to it forever!!)

A haven houses the people you love.

This may seem like a no-brainer but…do you really love the people you so intimately share your space with? You should, because they are a big portion of your daily stimuli. 

Are you feeling mostly neutral or happy while interacting with the people at home? If you are spending most of your time with them angry, upset or miserable you may want to take a good look at those you’re sharing a roof with. 

Better yet, take a good look at your thoughts. What you are thinking is creating your feelings, what do you need to think about them to feel better?

A haven nourishes you.

Is your home stocked with healthy foods and treats? Are you able to exercise and move your body if you wish to? A haven should nourish you with non-toxic foods, household cleaners, and beauty products. If your house if full of processed foods and unpronounceable chemicals I urge you to start replacing these things with cleaner versions.

A haven reflects your taste and style.

Have you always wanted stone floors and white furniture but have always settled for what was the more practical choice? Maybe it’s time to make your home reflect your true desires in order for it to become the haven you want to spend all your time in.

Don’t be afraid to make your home reflect you, in spite of the current fad or trend. If minimalism or country farmhouse isn’t your thing don’t do it and then feel like a stranger in your own home.

You do you, if you buy a white sofa, what is the worst thing that can happen? So you have to have it steam cleaned or you have to replace it sooner than the practical choice? Is that worth never having that thing you really want?

A haven is comfortable and cozy.

Your home should be warm or cool as suits your internal thermometer. Do you have soft rugs, cozy throws, and sweet smelling candles? Do you have a way to play your favorite music and watch your favorite shows? If you are a reader, do you have a comfortable nook to sit in and read? 

Light that candle, turn on some soft music, turn the lights down low and get comfy.

A haven allows you privacy.

You should feel completely free and relaxed inside your home. It is not a haven if you feel the need to present your public persona behind closed doors for those you live with. Do you feel comfortable expressing your thoughts and opinions? Do you listen to music you love, wear your hair in a bun, and dance around when the mood strikes?

While you are in your haven, you should get to be the most authentic version of yourself.

Now get to work. Make that place you hang your hat, not just your home, but your haven.