Living my best life requires knowing what I want for my life and then actively going after it. It means living in the way that aligns with my best self and knowing what that means to me. My best self is healthy and fit emotionally and physically. My best self decides what she wants life to be and makes it happen. She lives in a tidy house, does her hair, and has great social life. She eats mostly healthy nourishing foods and keeps her body in good shape. She pursues work in the world that lights her up and the world right along with her.

Being my best self requires knowing and taking action.

It means actually learning to live in that way and I want you to learn and live your best life too. I know you’ve tried to change your life or your habits before but can’t seem to stay on track so I’m going to share with you my secrets for keeping on track so you can finally be successful this time around.

We’ve all been there. We want to lose weight or get to the gym but somehow we never seem to make ourselves the priority. We get too busy, we’re too stressed, or we just can’t manage the willpower or motivation. But guess what? I can help…here are my secrets to permanent lifestyle change and guess what? No one is perfect, not even me. You can’t rely on will power. But you can make changes in your life and you can have the life you want if you take it one step at a time. Before you know it you will be living your best life, you will embody the woman you dreamed of being. You will come to realize you can do anything you set your mind to.

1. Really Commit to Change

You have to know what you want and deeply commit to having it or making it so. Really committing to something means planning for it. Being prepared and organizing your life to accommodate it. You have to plan to do the things. You have to make time to do them and you have to actually get them done.

People actually tease me for how much I plan out the details of my life but it is the only way I will actually get what I want.

2. Get Selfish

Yup you read that right. The most important thing you need to do to make serious change in your life is to make yourself priority number one. I know this sounds selfish and it is, but stop deciding “selfish” is a bad thing, it’s not. Of course you have to take care of yourself. It’s no one else’s job but yours to do so. If being selfish is too hard for you to swallow then maybe thinking interns of, taking personal responsibility for your life and situation is an easier pill to swallow. It is your job to take care of yourself…how are you doing with that?

Now of course you are going to take care of your children and maybe others as well, but it is never necessary to compromise your own health, well-being, and overall happiness to take care of anyone even children to be a good mom. It just isn’t required…that’s an excuse for why you are doing a bad job taking care of yourself, that’s it, an excuse. I hope that’s clear.

3. Reminders

To do lists, planners, calendars, food journals, and habit trackers are all great tools to help remind you of your path. You have to keep your vision of your best self, front and center at all times so you don’t get swept up in the day to day and simply forget what you were aiming for.

I use Google calendar to organize my time and I schedule in all my required routines and tasks first. This way I’m sure to get to bed on time, get up in the morning, and have time to make healthy and delicious dinners. I also use habit trackers to make sure I’m meditating regularly, journaling, and getting exercise. I still journal my food everyday.

4. Start Again, and Again, and Again…

When you mess up, let things slide for a while, or simply forget where you were going in the first place, get up, dust yourself off and get back to business. THIS IS KEY. Just keep getting back up and getting back on the horse. I don’t know how many times I’ve fallen off track in my diet or went a few weeks or even months without getting in a workout. The reason I am thin and fit today is because I just kept getting back up. Not because I’m such a great eater or prolific gym goer, I just decide to get back up and move forward.

Don’t wallow, don’t continue to say f*$k it, just don’t give up. No one is perfect…no matter how perfect they seem to you, trust me, no one has it all figured out. Everyone makes mistakes or gets off track, we are all human, you live your best life by never giving up and starting again.

5. Check In

I think along with reminders, checking in with yourself is so important. This is when you realize you might be a bit off your game and you realign yourself. This is where you get back up and get moving forward again. Set up weekly or monthly check in’s to look at what went well, what didn’t go so well, and what you will do differently. Set yourself up for success.

6. Your Environment 

Begin to surround yourself with like-minded people, people living the way you want to live. If you’re trying to quit smoking, don’t spend time with smokers. If you are trying to give up sugar and your bestie keeps pushing cupcakes on you, have a serious conversation about her lack of support and the consequences you might have to invoke.

This comes from that place of personal responsibility, you have to prioritize you and your best life. Surround yourself with people who lift you up, not drag you down. While you are at it set up your spaces to be supportive as well. If you can’t trust yourself at the grocery store, order groceries online for delivery and only buy what’s on your list. Don’t have junk food in your house if you can’t stop snacking. Fill your fridge with veggie snacks and set up a nice home workout area.

Don’t make things harder for yourself. If you can set yourself up for success.

7. Mindset

Listen to your inner dialogue. When you hear yourself thinking things like, I don’t want to, I can’t, I don’t feel like it, it’s too hard…when things get uncomfortable, notice this and recognize that you are simply uncomfortable and trying to talk yourself out of doing the thing you want to do. The thing that is probably leading to your best life; the exercise, the healthy food choice, the phone call…whatever it is.

Alternatively, maybe it’s you talking yourself into something like, I want that cupcake, I will just peek at new jeans, I want new shoes, I’m so hungry, I’ll just have a glass of wine…things that clearly don’t align with your best self, thoughts talking you into doing something.

Instead, talk yourself into the things that lead to your best self and talk yourself out of those that don’t. I know this is simplistic but it’s a practice that works.

I notice myself often thinking, I’m hungry, and if I notice I’m actually thinking this instead of feeling hunger I can easily see that I am not actually hungry and change my attention to something else. But sometimes I don’t catch it and end up mindlessly snacking. It’s a practice, even for me. But one well worth your time and effort.

To remember all these tips like the one to notice your thoughts and what your inner dialogue is trying to get you to do, write a reminder in your planner or set up a notification on your phone to occasional remind you. 

Everyday is a new beginning.